Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
sex in a hospital.. check
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
