She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
