I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
