after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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