they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
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He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
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plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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