No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
