normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
