i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
