Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
