let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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