I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize