am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
