Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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