I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
