I'm pants shitting drunk right now
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
