The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
