Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
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you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry