Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Randomize