Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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