We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize