so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
