So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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