The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
