Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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