Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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