Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
