I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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