Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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