I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
