after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
