weddingsv make me drug and hornr
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
