READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
