their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
