i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
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Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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