I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
