woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
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He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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