Just fell off a train. Bad.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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