chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We're too hungover to prance.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
