my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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