i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
