I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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