he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
