Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
