did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
