I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
