Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize