there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
