So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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