I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize