Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
