I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
