I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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