i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
