Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
MIDGETS
????
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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