When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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