i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Pooping to opera.
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