weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
